Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
