My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
