Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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