I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
