I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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