btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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