it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
