I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
