i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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