You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
