A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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