I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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