I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
