I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
