i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
