We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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