It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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