Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
