Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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