Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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