Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
