so that wasnt chicken after all
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
