If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
