you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i think i just lost a toe
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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