So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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