at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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