how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
