Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
