i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She told me I should be a condom model.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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