This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
