I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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