So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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