But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
