I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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