Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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