And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
