I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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