Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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