you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
