Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
