Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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