the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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