last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
