You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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