i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
