yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
