Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
