i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Pants are for mortals
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
