i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
