just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
