I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
