More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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