Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
