have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
