Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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